Hello, this is Helen. I made this blog for Ruth, and now I’m hijacking it. And why? Because tomorrow, I’m going to join Ruth in Seattle, and we’re going to spend the last three weeks of her holiday doing a bit of a Thelma and Louise. Hopefully without the dramatic ending, although considering previous trips I wouldn’t rule it out.
Unfortunately (and typically, Ruth would probably say) I am ill. This is all part of the whole Helen Readiness Process. Here’s how it goes (with Ruth Readiness Process thrown in for comparison).
Two years before trip
Ruth begins to plan trip, tells Helen: Helen instantly forgets
One year before trip
Ruth has booked flights and time off work: begins to pack. Ruth reminds Helen, who makes vague promise to think about it
Six months before trip
Ruth has written detailed minute-by-minute plan of trip. Nags Helen about buying tickets: Helen mentions this casually to her parents
Two months before trip
Helen finally buys tickets, and books off leave, in impulsive fashion that leaves whole of her family financially crippled
One week before trip
Ruth is waiting in car, ready to set off. Helen realises none of her suitcases are suitable to take on trip, and buys one which, on inspection by Ruth, is also unsuitable
One day before trip
Ruth has now been waiting at airport for three days. Helen makes list of stuff, and throws half of that stuff in a suitcase. She wanders around her flat stuffing rotting/mouldy things in a bin bag and gets struck down by serious illness (ear infection/muscular pain/serious cold in the head). She also manages to re-dye her hair, leaving her whole bathroom bright red, and do random things like put a wash on and ring up The Times to complain about the repeated non-delivery of her newspaper.
Day of trip
Ruth is on aeroplane, strapped in, with complimentary nuts. Helen is panicking: she races around her flat throwing stuff in her suitcase and screaming. Despite this, she arrives at the airport immensely early, and ends up running the charge on her iPhone down playing Sonic the Hedgehog and updating her Twitter account.
Right, I’m off to OD on orange juice and run around my flat stuffing unnecessary items into my suitcase. By the way, if you want to follow my Twitter account, you can find it here:
http://twitter.com/isntit/
Wish me luck! Ruth will kill me if I don’t get there…
